Happy Pig Theory

Some interesting theories about human and pigs : 
  
Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy 
Pigs = eat + sleep 
Hence, Human = Pigs + work + enjoy 
if, Human - enjoy = Pigs + work 

in other words,  Human that don't know how to enjoy = pigs that work 

Men = eat + sleep + earn money 
Pigs = eat + sleep 
Hence, Men = Pigs + earn money 
therefore, Men - earn money = Pigs 

in other words, Men that don't earn money = Pigs 

Women = eat + sleep + spend 
Pigs = eat + sleep 
Hence, Women = Pigs + spend 
therefore, Women - spend = Pigs 
In other words,  Women that don't spend = Pigs 

Summary: 
Men earn money not to let women become pigs! 
Women spend not to let men become pigs! 

Men + Women = 2 Pigs 
Wishing all the pigs happiness forever

The Pastor's Ass

A little humor with good moral.

The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the Race again, and it won again. The local paper read:

PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT.

The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in another race. The next day, the local paper headline read: 

BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS.

This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey. The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent. The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day:

NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.

The bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10. The next day the paper read:

NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.

This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild. The next day the headlines read:

NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.

The bishop was buried the next day.

The moral of the story is .... being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery or even shorten your life.. So be yourself and enjoy life.

Stop worrying about everyone else's ass and you'll be a lot happier and live longer!

Touch My Body Video

Check out this video. It would make you laugh non-stop ^_^

3 Mysteries!!!

Study carefully.....the clues are so blatant you will be kicking yourself if you miss them! Don't look at the answers until you are sure you have all three right.

Mystery one
A man was found murdered Sunday morning. His wife immediately called the police. The police questioned the wife and staff and got these answers:
The wife said she was sleeping. The cook was preparing breakfast. The gardener was gathering vegetables. The maid was getting the mail. The butler was polishing shoes in the pantry. 
The police instantly arrested the murderer. Who did it and how did they know?

Mystery two
A man walks into his bathroom and shoots himself right between the eyes using a real gun with real bullets. He walks out alive, with no blood anywhere and no, he didn't miss. How did he do this?

Mystery three
Old Mr Teddy was found dead in his study by Mr Fiend. Mr. Fiend recounted his dismal discovery to the police: "I was walking by Mr Teddy's house when I thought I would just pop in for a visit. I noticed his study light was on and I decided to peek in from the outside to see if he was in there. There was frost on the window, so I had to wipe it away to see inside. That is when I saw his body. So I kicked in the front door to confirm my suspicions of foul play. I called the police immediately afterward."
The officer immediately arrested Mr Fiend for the murder of Mr Teddy. How did he know Mr. Fiend was lying?

Try to figure these questions before looking at the answers below.

  
  
  
  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
ANSWERS:
1. It was the Maid. She said she was getting the mail but there is no mail delivery on Sunday.
2. He shot his reflection in the bathroom mirror.
3. Frost forms inside of the window, not on the outside. So Mr Fiend could not have wiped it off to discover Mr Teddy's body.

Did you get them right?

Let's Go For A Drink!

The process of functioning of a male and a female's brain when faced with the existential sentence: LET'S GO FOR A DRINK!

Australian or Chinese Customs

Chinese man decides to move to Australia after 50 years of living in Shanghai. He buys a small piece of land near to Mount Isa.

A few days after moving in the friendly Aussie neighbour decides to go across and welcome the new guy to the region, so he goes next door but on his way up the drive-way he sees the Chinese man running around his front yard chasing about 10 hens not wanting to interrupt these "Chinese customs", he decides to put the welcome on hold for the day.

The next day, he decides to try again, but just as he is about to knock on the front door, he looks through the window and sees the Chinese man urinate into a glass and then drink it. Not wanting to interrupt another "Chinese custom", he decides to put the welcome on hold for yet another day.

A day later he decides to give it one last go, but on his way next door, he sees the Chinese man leading a bull down the drive-way, pause, and then put his head next to the bull's bum.

The Aussie bloke can't handle this, so he goes up to the Chinese man and says "Jeez Mate, what the hell is it with your Chinese customs? I come over to welcome you to the neighbourhood, and see you running around the yard after hens. The next day you are pissing in a glass, and drinking it, and then today you have your head so close to that bull's bum, it could just about shit on you."

The Chinese man is very taken back and says "Sorry sir, you not understand, these no Chinese customs I doing, these Australian Customs."

"What do you mean mate" says the Aussie, "Those aren't Australian customs."

"Yes, they are, man at travel agent tells me" replied the Chinese man," He says to become true Australian, I learn chase chicks, drink piss, and listen to bull-shit".