The 4 Animals You Want To Be

A teacher asked her class, "What do you want out of life?"

A little girl in the back row raised her hand and said "All I want out of life is four little animals, just like my mom always says"

The teacher asked "Really and what four little animals would that be?"

The little girl said. "A mink on my back, a jaguar in the garage, a tiger in the bed and a jackass to pay for it all."

The teacher fainted.

The Lawyer and The Chinese

A lawyer and an Chinese are sitting next to each other on a long flight? The lawyer is thinking that all Chinese are so dumb that he could get over on them, easy.

So the lawyer asks if the Chinese would like to play a fun game. The Chinese is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines, and tries to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists, and says that the game is a lot of fun. I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me only $5; you ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500, he says.

This catches the Chinese's attention and to keep the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game.

The lawyer asks the first question. 'What's the distance from The Earth to the Moon?' The Chinese doesn't say a word, reaches in his pocket, pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer?

Now, it's the Chinese's turn. He asks the lawyer, 'What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?'

The lawyer uses his laptop and searches all references he could find on the Net. He sends e-mails to all the smart friends he knows, all to no avail. After one hour of searching he finally gives up. He wakes up the Chinese and hands him $500. The Chinese pockets the $500 and goes right back to sleep. The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer. He wakes the Chinese up and asks, 'Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?

The Chinese reaches in his pocket, hands the lawyer $5 and goes back to sleep?

Don't mess with us Chinese.

How to Recruit the Right Person for the Job

Put about 100 bricks in some particular order in a closed room with an open window. Then send 2 or 3 candidates in the room and close the door. Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours and then analyze the situation.

If they are counting the bricks, Put them in the accounts department .

If they are recounting them, Put them in auditing.

If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks, Put them in engineering.

If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order, Put them in planning.


If they are throwing the bricks at each other, Put them in operations .


If they are sleeping, Put them in security.


If they have broken the bricks into pieces, Put them in information technology.


If they are sitting idle, Put them in human resources.


If they say they have tried different combinations, yet not a brick has been moved, Put them in sales.


If they have already left for the day, Put them in marketing.

If they are staring out of the Window, Put them on strategic planning.

And then last but not least, if they are talking to each other and not a single brick has been moved...

Congratulate them and put them in Top management